“How lost do I have to get, to be good enough for the good news again?”
A number of years back I was up late at night watching TV. If you have never been up super late, this is prime time for televangelists, infomercials, and “As Seen On TV’ ads. Perfect time to reach the people who can’t sleep because they feel hopeless, are looking to make a six figure salary by attending a seminar, or are impulse buyers who can’t go to sleep without making one final purchase for the night. During the transition from the preacher to the pitchman, they would throw in a commercial on debt relief. It always felt like the commercial was speaking straight to me… that is until I realized that I didn’t meet the minimum debt requirement to get help. We weren’t in a position of desperation, but you always know you could be in a better financial position. After the commercial, I just pitied the people that actually needed to pick up the phone and make the call, because I knew they were in deep. In hindsight, the truth is that you don’t need to have a debt of half a million dollars to lose everything. People that live paycheck to paycheck on a smaller income with a smaller debt can just as easily lose everything. The issue is not the amount you owe, but the amount you are unable to pay.
In the gospel of Matthew; chapter 18 records a parable that JESUS shared about two individuals with debt. The first one is brought before the King to settle an outstanding balance of 10,000 talents. The equivalent of millions of dollars. This guy would’ve definitely qualified for the debt relief program. The second guy mentioned has a debt of 100 denarii, which is the equivalent of a days wage. The parable tells us that both at the mercy of the lender and could’ve been thrown into prison. If you are familiar with the story then you know that the guy who was in the hole millions of dollars is forgiven of his debt, only to go and find the guy that owed him fragments of what just forgiven to him and has him throw in prison. This parable focuses on forgiveness, but throughout the story it is also revealing GOD’S character. The King who forgives the enormous debt in the parable is GOD. This story points us to a present day reality and a spiritual revelation. Regardless of the amount of debt we owe, a debt that cannot be paid will lead to loss of everything and bankruptcy. Here is the spiritual revelation,
“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.”
-Romans 3:23 NLT
We all have a debt we cannot pay, and regardless of how small our sins may seem or look to the outside world, everyone falls short and Romans chapter 3, verse 10 reassures us that, ““No one is righteous— not even one.”. When we stand before GOD one day, our small debt that we tried to outweigh with good will leave us bankrupt. But that is not the entire message. While Romans 3:23 shares the bad news, Romans 3:24 continues with the good news,
“Yet God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.” -Romans 3:24 NLT
The debt is forgiven! GOD “forgets” our sins [Isaiah 43:25]. HE has removed our sins as far as the east is from the west, which are cardinal direction that never meet [Psalm 103:12]. And here is the greatest news of all, as long as we are willing to repent, HE is willing to forgive [1 John 1:9]. There is no sin (outside of blasphemy of the HOLY SPIRIT) that HE is unable, or unwilling to forgive [Matthew 12:31].
This last year I found myself in the greatest pit of despair after blowing it in my faith. I went from having what seemed like manageable spiritual debt, to an enormous spiritual tab that has ruined me. I have found myself wrestling with the same question my grandpa asked in his last months of his life, “Can GOD really forgive me?”. “Yes!”. An answer and Theological position I have unwaveringly held as far back as I can remember. But as I have found myself failing and falling into sin, I have equally felt like I’ve fallen from grace. Throughout this journey I have needed to remind myself that while sin is eternally forgivable, it unfortunately leaves a mess in the aftermath of our poor decisions. And just like I need time to correct, people need time to heal. However, the reason that I have found myself wrestling with the question of forgiveness is not without merit. As there are people trying to heal from broken trust, there is another force within the Church… those who may not say that a sin can’t be forgiven, but for all intents and purposes they simply imply it. Nearly one year ago, I wrestled with wanting to disconnect from the Church, trying to figure out if I had a place within the Church, and wondering if my salvation was genuine. Not for lack of evidence or conviction, but from what I was experiencing in life. Part of me wondered, “How lost do I have to get, to be good enough for the good news again?”. How much time has to elapse, and how messed up do I have to get, before someone from the Church feels like I am good enough for the good news, and good enough to be part of the Church body? How long until I become the target and mission for the Church again?
By the grace of GOD, my family and I keep moving forward. Despite the seasons of difficulty and discouragement, I am here to tell you that if you’ve been part of a Church body and failed majorly in life, while our sin is never condoned, the gospel is clear that it can be forgiven. You don’t have to plunge farther into sin to feel like you are worth investing into and have a story worth rejoicing over. Whether you are in your death bed filled with regret, and wondering how GOD can forgive everything you’ve done… here is the answer. Because forgiveness is not defined by your character, but by HIS. And if you repent, HE is faithful and just to forgive.
